so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
