You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
wow bdsm is so cute
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
