Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
