This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
