Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
