You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
