I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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