You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
