oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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