with your own penis?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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