I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Is that strawberry winking at me??
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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