What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
