they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
