As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
