I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
