Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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