3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
