bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
