There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
