just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
