her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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