hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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