I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think a kid would responsible me up
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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