that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
