The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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