you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i dont even know how to be here
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
