I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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