Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
