Can Purell be used as lube?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
