D3 body, D1 cock
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
