Me. At least after what I've been through.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
