9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
We have started to decorate penises.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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