I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
