You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
