At least make sure they are 18
Why
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
