I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
