it was like eating out sand paper
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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