So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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