I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
