thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
