I just threw up on my dentist
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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