if you like me you must not know who I am
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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