She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
