Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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