Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
