break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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