y did u give ur computer a hand job?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
