well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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