God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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