Just fell off a train. Bad.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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