there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize