Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
