just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
